It is amazing how much God can transform hearts to find splendor in the most mundane and annoying of things...such as Valentine's day. Yesterday was a very good day, and the fact that I was single didn't affect how I felt. This was new for me. Granted, like any normal human being, I do wish for marriage and that relationship. It has been a new thing for me to fight my flesh and be content in this time given by God to use my singleness for a purpose. And that is what it is, a time of purpose for the Kingdom of God. I kept thinking about 1 Corinthians 7, the infamous passages about Paul's view of singleness. He viewed it as a blessing. It wasn't just a few from an ordinary man though. Paul's outlook and mindset was complete run by the Spirit, so all that was written was God-breathed, just as much as the commands given for holy living and spiritual courage that are all throughout his letters. Paul's encouragement of positively using our singleness for the glory of God was no mistake or option. I love this about that passage as well. He makes it clear that our singleness is, in a sense, just as important or blessed as marriage is.
Our culture hates this idea. It makes us feel useless and unloved when the world around us is full of couples, betrothed (to use biblical speech), and married couples. It is especially hard here on campus when every other convo speaker talks about relationships and marriage or your friends get engaged in droves. It is almost inevitable to not get slightly frustrated and sad about our current position in life...if we don't look at it the way Paul explains. It is why it is there. I feel like sometimes we think God doesn't realize what it does to us emotionally, or that maybe He has overlooked us somehow. If that were the case, he wouldn't have such encouragement or a provision for it. That passage is our provision for this stage in our life, and for many this stage isn't just a phase but a lifestyle. If someone lives a life of singleness, then they should be praised and encouraged for the fact that their minds and hearts get to be souly focused on the Lord and the people He wants them to reach. The demand on their life has more freedom attached, as Paul says, to do this. What a gift such people have, and God will bless them for their obedience.
For the rest of us, we must wait and keep our eyes on Christ. If we don't we will dwell in our singleness as if it is a prison instead of what it should be considered. We cannot let culture and pressure be the way we measure our success or our current joy. As easy as it can be, it is spiritually draining and deadly. In Philippians 2:14 it talks about doing nothing with complaining and grumbling. In the spectrum of singleness, this is a great way to start living in a practical way toward succesful singleness, or rather passionate singleness. We can live our single time in full passion for Christ and for others, just as much as if we did it in a partnership with a husband (or wife). We are given a community of believers for this reason. We aren't truly alone in our discipleship and ministry.
Read 1 Corinthians 7 in your Bible. I don't put a lot of these verses in here because I want you to discover these things on your own, in your own translation, so it makes you take some effort. This is a principle that takes more than just reading a passage, but applying it and praying for strength and consistency in doing so. Enjoy the discovery and the process! Be blessed!
Monday, February 15, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
The Radiant Beauty of Redemption and Restoration
"...to give them beauty for ashes,..." Isaiah 61:3
I love this whole chapter in Isaiah, but verse 3 is so poignant and moving to any person's soul if they have been claimed by Christ and given their mess of a life over to Him. This past week, for reasons that were out of my control, things were brought up in classes that called for me to reflect on my past. Despite the fact that some days I wish I could forget it all and start a fresh, it doesn't erase it's happening. 19 years do not just wash away in our mind, even though by the grace of God it's residue has been cleared and I am made pure once again. Even though I know this, the pain of more than just physical loss breaks me sometimes. Especially when I have to remember the moments where I could have chosen a better path than I did, only basing my decision to act on selfishness, greed, and ignorance. I need His grace and mercy more then (if it were possible to gain it more) as I do any time.
In my CHMN 403 class we had to look at articles pertaining to teenage girls. Oh, what a dreadful time that was! God blesses me so much with this new frame of mind, I barely remember anything before college. Only bits and pieces of the obvious things that marked my life. But while we were discussing them, I couldn't even speak. I felt my heart hurt as the women in the class told their stories of conquering the great divide between culture and Christ, something I had no clear knowledge of until it was too late and looking into the eternal realm of things had to be done. I was encouraged that these women were strong and I was so proud of them, but I felt so different from the crowd. All of them grew up in these Christian homes where their parents poured into their lives the knowledge of Christ and were examples of it to their children. Their dads were loving men who would make sure they knew their purpose and worth all their lives, and proving to be their greatest human ally in this dark and wicked world. This world I pray so hard for my children to gain and will help to maintain if given the chance...was not my life. Finding out the worlds mysteries and wicked tricks was my own job. I had a standard to uphold of good grades, great athletic ability, and going to college was all there was to it. Be the best, be surrounded by the best, and get the furthest. It seemed so normal though I look back and see a sick outline of depraved creativity that made no way to uniqueness. But, that is New England for you...and in essence, it took leaving Connecticut to appreciate any of it.
Sometimes I have cried out to God wondering why I couldn't have the princess life. Where my dad was king and he protected his daughter with all his might. Where my true talents and gifts were not masked by the need to live up to the parental standards and life of my older brother and every other kid in my town. Where I knew deeply and truly that I was loved by more than anything this world could give me and that my satisfaction was in a God who communes with His chosen, instead of the idea of a distant God. Why me?
The only answer is: So my life would bring Him glory. My life has been no better or worse than anyone elses. My path to Christ was just more unique and pertinant to me than it would have been to anyone else. There are things I have learned about God that others won't understand about Him because my circumstances have allowed secrets of His holiness to be souly precious to me. The feeling of freedom that I have is different from anyone else because it was specially designed for me. His attention to me and my needs breathe new life to me that isn't given to anyone else but me, as all this is the same for every other chosen child. It is incredible what God can do with ashes.
I came out of class yesterday hurt and angry at my own mistakes and the actions of others (i.e. my family). I sulked back to my dorm in a rather fast paced rage with Skillet's "Hero" blaring in my ears (I am from the north and listened to Linkin Park for years when I was frustrated...welcome to the Christian version of that). My heart was pounding and bursting and I almost started to cry. This isn't the first time my memory was jogging and stirred up all kinds of dust from the past, but this time I couldn't share my end of it in class. It split open a more personal wound that I had never addressed before. Yet, when I sat down in my comfy black chair/nap area and let my thoughts collect in proper order, I felt peace. That wasn't me anymore. He didn't have to remove it twice from me, my past was but a memory and a set up lessons I learned from. It wasn't a part of me as it was suppliment to the new life He gave. He has forgiven me for my mistakes, failures, and many pains I gave Him. He restored what was lost by giving me more abundantly ever since. He has continued to sanctify me, molding me to the perfect form He wishes. No memory from my past can override what God has restored and redeemed. The discipline of remembering this and reflecting on that alone is something I (as many others) need to implement into our lives. His power is greater than our mind and the wickedness that tries to rip that gift from our hands. Praise God for His brilliant transforming power and His continued gift of sanctification.
Read the whole chapter of Isaiah 61. Don't just read it as words on a screen or in your own version on the Bible, but as God speaking to you. He is telling you of what He has done and what He wants to do with you and for you. He wants to make your life a glorious victory for Him and His kingdom. What a privilege!
I love this whole chapter in Isaiah, but verse 3 is so poignant and moving to any person's soul if they have been claimed by Christ and given their mess of a life over to Him. This past week, for reasons that were out of my control, things were brought up in classes that called for me to reflect on my past. Despite the fact that some days I wish I could forget it all and start a fresh, it doesn't erase it's happening. 19 years do not just wash away in our mind, even though by the grace of God it's residue has been cleared and I am made pure once again. Even though I know this, the pain of more than just physical loss breaks me sometimes. Especially when I have to remember the moments where I could have chosen a better path than I did, only basing my decision to act on selfishness, greed, and ignorance. I need His grace and mercy more then (if it were possible to gain it more) as I do any time.
In my CHMN 403 class we had to look at articles pertaining to teenage girls. Oh, what a dreadful time that was! God blesses me so much with this new frame of mind, I barely remember anything before college. Only bits and pieces of the obvious things that marked my life. But while we were discussing them, I couldn't even speak. I felt my heart hurt as the women in the class told their stories of conquering the great divide between culture and Christ, something I had no clear knowledge of until it was too late and looking into the eternal realm of things had to be done. I was encouraged that these women were strong and I was so proud of them, but I felt so different from the crowd. All of them grew up in these Christian homes where their parents poured into their lives the knowledge of Christ and were examples of it to their children. Their dads were loving men who would make sure they knew their purpose and worth all their lives, and proving to be their greatest human ally in this dark and wicked world. This world I pray so hard for my children to gain and will help to maintain if given the chance...was not my life. Finding out the worlds mysteries and wicked tricks was my own job. I had a standard to uphold of good grades, great athletic ability, and going to college was all there was to it. Be the best, be surrounded by the best, and get the furthest. It seemed so normal though I look back and see a sick outline of depraved creativity that made no way to uniqueness. But, that is New England for you...and in essence, it took leaving Connecticut to appreciate any of it.
Sometimes I have cried out to God wondering why I couldn't have the princess life. Where my dad was king and he protected his daughter with all his might. Where my true talents and gifts were not masked by the need to live up to the parental standards and life of my older brother and every other kid in my town. Where I knew deeply and truly that I was loved by more than anything this world could give me and that my satisfaction was in a God who communes with His chosen, instead of the idea of a distant God. Why me?
The only answer is: So my life would bring Him glory. My life has been no better or worse than anyone elses. My path to Christ was just more unique and pertinant to me than it would have been to anyone else. There are things I have learned about God that others won't understand about Him because my circumstances have allowed secrets of His holiness to be souly precious to me. The feeling of freedom that I have is different from anyone else because it was specially designed for me. His attention to me and my needs breathe new life to me that isn't given to anyone else but me, as all this is the same for every other chosen child. It is incredible what God can do with ashes.
I came out of class yesterday hurt and angry at my own mistakes and the actions of others (i.e. my family). I sulked back to my dorm in a rather fast paced rage with Skillet's "Hero" blaring in my ears (I am from the north and listened to Linkin Park for years when I was frustrated...welcome to the Christian version of that). My heart was pounding and bursting and I almost started to cry. This isn't the first time my memory was jogging and stirred up all kinds of dust from the past, but this time I couldn't share my end of it in class. It split open a more personal wound that I had never addressed before. Yet, when I sat down in my comfy black chair/nap area and let my thoughts collect in proper order, I felt peace. That wasn't me anymore. He didn't have to remove it twice from me, my past was but a memory and a set up lessons I learned from. It wasn't a part of me as it was suppliment to the new life He gave. He has forgiven me for my mistakes, failures, and many pains I gave Him. He restored what was lost by giving me more abundantly ever since. He has continued to sanctify me, molding me to the perfect form He wishes. No memory from my past can override what God has restored and redeemed. The discipline of remembering this and reflecting on that alone is something I (as many others) need to implement into our lives. His power is greater than our mind and the wickedness that tries to rip that gift from our hands. Praise God for His brilliant transforming power and His continued gift of sanctification.
Read the whole chapter of Isaiah 61. Don't just read it as words on a screen or in your own version on the Bible, but as God speaking to you. He is telling you of what He has done and what He wants to do with you and for you. He wants to make your life a glorious victory for Him and His kingdom. What a privilege!
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Boston Bound?
This has been a whirlwind week. I had such an exciting day last Wednesday in my CHMN 403 class (Professional Orientation for Women in Ministry) and it had stuck with me ever since. We are doing a major project in that class which consists of us ladies creating a research project full of information on people we want to minister to. We can choose age group and countries, pretty much anything in the realm of reaching women, and all throughout the explanation process, I could hardly contain the thoughts swirling in my mind. It was quite interesting for all the ideas to be coming out the way they were, because I had been fighting so much against anything near when I was beginning to write down. My thoughts automatically went to "New England" and "College/working age 18-30." The part I was fighting most was the New England part.
After I became a Christian and went down to school here in Virginia, I was all about the south. I fought my northern ways, refusing to associate myself with it, leaning more to my mothers southern upbringing. But slowly over the past few years, God has broken my heart for my roots. Although I don't feel right now exactly called to Connecticut, my heart has been moving upwards to Boston. There are so many colleges in one area, and it is the most beautiful and amazing city I have ever been too. So much history, knowledge, and creativity has come out of that city. I love going there, and try as often as I can to do so. During my last visit with my parents, I remember driving around the city wondering if there were any churches around. I don't ever get to stay long enough to see the city in it's prime, so I am sure there are. I also know there are people wanting to plant churches in the city, which gives me hope. I remember driving around, thinking about what it would be like to live there, meeting women and talking with them. I don't even know if that means that it is where I am supposed to be, I just felt like I pictured myself there.
Lately I have been praying for God to give me direction and discernment on this. I want to have the right motives and a clear idea so that I am being obedient, not selfish and wanting something for my own. There are so many reasons to why I could be just thinking up all of this, but at the same time there is seemingly much more out there as to why I feel lead this way.
My project ideas started out as New England as a whole. Mountains and country though, I have found aren't especially kind to me in terms of actually living somewhere. I don't think I could ever live in a place like Maine or New Hampshire, although I seriously love those places, I just don't feel lead there. I continued to be looking over the ideas I had, and I began trying to think of "titles" or main focuses for my ministry...and Boston kept coming up a lot. I even thought about Rhode Island where Bryan is, but in my mind I keep seeing the corner of Boston where Northeastern, Harvard, Boston University, and others are. What an amazing place that area is, seeing the students and all their individuality. Northeastern itself is an amazing art school, and walking near there once I just loved it.
I honestly, right now, feel very confused and unsure. My heart says yes, my mind says yes, but is God saying yes? I am need to prayer to figure this out, and also just so I can do well on this project. I am taking it so seriously, and I want to. It is so exciting to me. I bought a notebook specifically for ideas, and I prayed over my lecturetext and the notebook. I think it is exciting that I am taking it this semester, my last semester before I graduate. I feel like the culmination of my education and degree will be completed with this major project. It is truely exciting. I don't even want to get into what happened the next day, it was quite interesting and that is for another time because I am still trying to pray about that.
There is so much more on my mind concerning this, but I am at work and I can't seem to figure out how to put this all in order: my "feelings," events that have happened since that class, this mounting excitement towards it all...so there is much that I have failed to write. I hope I can formulate a better post for you who are reading...so it makes a bit more sense and it doesn't seem like it is all in my mind.
Just know that I am praying for this, and I need prayer as well. When I talk about all of this, I seem to get so excited and my heart seems to go nuts. I am not one for taking emotions and signs to mean much of anything, so I am trying so hard to decipher properly. Pray for wisdom!
Thanks!
After I became a Christian and went down to school here in Virginia, I was all about the south. I fought my northern ways, refusing to associate myself with it, leaning more to my mothers southern upbringing. But slowly over the past few years, God has broken my heart for my roots. Although I don't feel right now exactly called to Connecticut, my heart has been moving upwards to Boston. There are so many colleges in one area, and it is the most beautiful and amazing city I have ever been too. So much history, knowledge, and creativity has come out of that city. I love going there, and try as often as I can to do so. During my last visit with my parents, I remember driving around the city wondering if there were any churches around. I don't ever get to stay long enough to see the city in it's prime, so I am sure there are. I also know there are people wanting to plant churches in the city, which gives me hope. I remember driving around, thinking about what it would be like to live there, meeting women and talking with them. I don't even know if that means that it is where I am supposed to be, I just felt like I pictured myself there.
Lately I have been praying for God to give me direction and discernment on this. I want to have the right motives and a clear idea so that I am being obedient, not selfish and wanting something for my own. There are so many reasons to why I could be just thinking up all of this, but at the same time there is seemingly much more out there as to why I feel lead this way.
My project ideas started out as New England as a whole. Mountains and country though, I have found aren't especially kind to me in terms of actually living somewhere. I don't think I could ever live in a place like Maine or New Hampshire, although I seriously love those places, I just don't feel lead there. I continued to be looking over the ideas I had, and I began trying to think of "titles" or main focuses for my ministry...and Boston kept coming up a lot. I even thought about Rhode Island where Bryan is, but in my mind I keep seeing the corner of Boston where Northeastern, Harvard, Boston University, and others are. What an amazing place that area is, seeing the students and all their individuality. Northeastern itself is an amazing art school, and walking near there once I just loved it.
I honestly, right now, feel very confused and unsure. My heart says yes, my mind says yes, but is God saying yes? I am need to prayer to figure this out, and also just so I can do well on this project. I am taking it so seriously, and I want to. It is so exciting to me. I bought a notebook specifically for ideas, and I prayed over my lecturetext and the notebook. I think it is exciting that I am taking it this semester, my last semester before I graduate. I feel like the culmination of my education and degree will be completed with this major project. It is truely exciting. I don't even want to get into what happened the next day, it was quite interesting and that is for another time because I am still trying to pray about that.
There is so much more on my mind concerning this, but I am at work and I can't seem to figure out how to put this all in order: my "feelings," events that have happened since that class, this mounting excitement towards it all...so there is much that I have failed to write. I hope I can formulate a better post for you who are reading...so it makes a bit more sense and it doesn't seem like it is all in my mind.
Just know that I am praying for this, and I need prayer as well. When I talk about all of this, I seem to get so excited and my heart seems to go nuts. I am not one for taking emotions and signs to mean much of anything, so I am trying so hard to decipher properly. Pray for wisdom!
Thanks!
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