This summer has been pretty cool so far. God has given me a curious spirit to learn and grow and really dig deep into His word. This past week I have been reading Galatians and I stopped reading 1 Kings. I don't usually just stop in the middle of books, but I am realizing that it was very much OCD or just routine. Our relationships isn't based on what books we read, although reading through books is an amazing thing to do, but when it comes to be that you HAVE to read a book all the way through, then it becomes routine. God doesn't want our routine. So, with that I decided to read the first of four smaller letters of Paul's. When I got to Galatians 3, I was completely blown away. In this chapter it talked about the law and how it isn't meant to rule and regulate your life, but be a "tutor" for living a Godly lifestyle for Christ. We tend to see things in such a different way than this. I know I am a culperate for just doing the minimum, or doing the same thing everyday for a quiet time or just living out my daily life. This chapter spoke volumes on this in all 25 verses. Living out this life of routine and abiding the law as much as you can is so dull sometimes. It is like scraping nails on a chalk board, you don't gain anything and it causes more annoyance than pleasure to be diving into God's Word. And for the next chapter, it speaks about legalism, and how it can ruin so much. It can ruin your walk, other peoples walks and doesn't bring any glory to God. It brings your pride to full view because you think YOU on your own can live a perfect life. HA! God doesn't want your pride but your humility. Oh to be humble!
I have recognized this a lot lately while being at home. I have this tendancy to ridicule my parents or to judge their lifestyle based off the people I see at school. I look at the parents of friends or of professors who have children and live a seemingly great godly life and live out what they preach. When I am at home, I see it differently, where I feel like I have to say something to make a point about how they handle things. I do believe my parents to be Christians, but the way they live question so much of their character and how MUCH they follow what they read. And this all may be the case, but what is my role in this? Do I rebuke or as a daughter have to pray when these moments of anger and judging begin to creep about. I have talked about it a few times with Annmarie, my friend at the church and "boss" for my internship. She has been in similar situations, and she has told me that sometimes I do need to say something, but most of the time, the best I can do is pray. When these times of offense come, I need to pray. And I can see how this will work. The more I get frustrated, the more my parents seem to just get worse, haha. I almost become hypocritical. What a lesson to learn this summer! I have been really critiquing and modifying my character this summer, I'm learning more patience than I have before...well...really I have just paid better attention to my impatience. I pray that I will be able to really learn to think before I speak, and let prayer be that "tool" to do so. It works only if I try it.
I love these two chapters, it proves how liberating our relationship with Christ is, if we don't let ourselves get in the way. Our motivations must be pure as well. I don't know if it is Satan or God's testing that people come into our lives, especially of the opposite sex, to test our motives for living a Godly lifestyle. This has been an eye-opener for me as well this summer. Someone new has been brought to my attention, but I have found that I am learning to concentrate on God more heavily to protect myself! Haha. This may or may not make sense, but my motives are in question currently for wanting to draw nearer. Either it is too impress or because I can't seem to focus ENOUGH on Him. I think the latter is what I am trying to remember because the first brings a falsehood which on trial ends up emabarassing you. Blah! Oh the many times this has occurred. The inner workings of the heart, the ones more personal and between you and God are usually the ones that shine your beauty most. The beauty that you wanted to keep to yourself, but God brings into the light because it is your most tender and genuine abilities. He rejoices in that, and it is when you are more beautiful. What a thing to think when you are "hiding" these in your heart for God, you shine brightest. He blesses those who draw near and keep the greatest parts for Him. What a lesson I still need to learn!
Lord, I pray that You will help me to learn these lessons. Let my inner beauty shine forth, and let my motives be right. I pray that my own idea of living for You will not interfere with others growth, as it has. May I not judge so quickly based on others lives. May I protect my heart by Your words and strength so that these characteristics may become a part of my character. You are amazing God, I pray that I will stay teachable and soak up wisdom and knowledge like a sponge! Amen.
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